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3-Beregszász Ghetto to Auschwitz
Can you describe your experience in the ghetto?
It was the horror of horrors up to that point. The dehumanization process was well in progress. In the synagogue there were a couple of toilets, but still all these people, thousands! When we were transferred to the brickyard, there were no toilets at all! They did not provide us with any temporary facilities at all. There was absolutely no water except for one spigot. Men would stand in line in the brick factory with buckets, if you happened to bring along a bucket – they're metal – and bring a bucket of water into our area. We were kept in these long narrow sheds. They had open sides and had a roof. They were beautiful sheds for bricks, but we were human beings.
The walls were empty or filled with bricks to be dried out and stored irregularly. It wouldn't be that one side would be way up there and keep the wind out and the other would be down. It was just zigzagging on both sides of these sheds. The ground where we had to stay – and it was very narrow – was filled with red dust from the bricks.
My gosh! In no time at all we had red dust in crevices we didn't know we had. It was horrible, and no water to wash ourselves in. The little water that was brought in by men in buckets, we would have a little dish from home and it would be poured into that little dish. We would pass it on to each other to have a sip of water. Old people, sick people, children. Children cried all the time, they had soiled diapers. Babies, there was no way, this was long before the disposable diapers of today. It was very, very uncomfortable, but we didn't realize that it could get even worse.
Old people had a very, very hard time there. Some people really died because perhaps they realized that the end of the world is coming for them. If they are taken out of their beds and put into this red powdery soil, they're capable of doing anything. That's the way they talked. But, the younger people told them not to think of the worst, not to think of the worst, that perhaps it will be better.
Then at night the trains began to come. We were actually – my family and I – were among the very first to be shipped out. This I didn't know until much later, when I looked up the dates of the transports from this ghetto. At nighttime the people didn't know that we were being transferred, and they shipped us out. Within a week or two everyone, the whole ghetto was emptied. There were thousands, many thousands of people in this ghetto. In Beregszász alone there were about 10,000 Jews, so you can imagine. We also didn't realize how lucky we were to have been able to be in our homes as long as we were. We were among the last Jews to be shipped out to Auschwitz.
When we arrived in Auschwitz after four days of horror in cattle cars, where not all of us could even sit down and stretch out, many of us had to stand up and lean on each other's shoulders. With us was a small barrel of water and a bedpan. Someone held up a blanket to be modest about this, but there was no way you could be modest about any of these natural human functions. It was incredible. Arriving in Auschwitz seemed like a relief from the trains.
It was on a Friday night when we arrived. They kept us locked in all night. The following morning, as daylight broke, Dad looked through the little cracks in the upper right hand corner there was a little window, but you couldn't see it unless you stood on somebody's back. There was a screen over it. Dad looked through the cracks and that little window, and he was lowered. He said, "I don't like what I see." "There are tall electric wire fences," Dad said, "and rows, and rows, and rows, of long barracks." The name of the place, we later learned, was Auschwitz-Birkenau. This was inside the camp.
To get into the camp itself, the train had to go through this huge gate. We landed at the platform. There were no buildings, like a station. Just a series of train lines, tracks. This is the famous place in Birkenau where all the victims had arrived [within the killing center].
From there we were separated; the men one way, the women another way. Then each group was separated: the young children, the sick and the disabled, the old went one way. And I think the guideline was approximately 16 or 15 years age, and between that age and about 50 roughly. Once in a while a few slipped through on both ends. So that all those up to the age of about 16 and over 50 had to go one way, and the rest of us the other way.
I was sent with my mother and Annuska, who was 12 years old at this time, was sent of with the young and the old and the disabled and the sick. We didn't even say goodbye to each other thinking that we would see each other at least at mealtime. We were told to march a certain way, and mother and I just did that. Soon, as we were still walking soon after we were separated from Annuska, there was this wagon, pulled by two horses, catching up from behind. The wagon was pulled by two horses. It had rubber tires and a flat top, which carried all the bundles and luggage from the train, this huge pile, and there was the driver. Much to our surprise, as it caught up with us, there was Annuska sitting on its back with her feet hanging down looking at the rows for mother and me. When she saw us, she just hopped off and joined us. Mother was very angry that she did this, because she thought that we would have to work very hard, judging by the age group, while the old people will take care of the young people, and the old people and the babies. I don't know how else one could rationalize this, except that nothing was rational in Auschwitz, nothing.
We were in the Birkenau section now. This was the death camp of Auschwitz, the Birkenau section, where all the gas chambers and crematoriums were located just a short distance away. And as the people marched here from where they got off the train, where they had to leave all of their belongings, there to our horror we saw these huge, huge electric wire fences. "Why would they have electric wire fences." we wondered? I know I wondered, "If they're just going to keep us in here like prisoners?" We didn't even realize we were prisoners, even though we already were.
Annuska saved her life by doing this. Annuska, we realized later, would have been gassed and cremated within an hour and a half. So, we learned later from the old timers what happened to all those who went the other direction, the direction into which she was sent. She had to prove herself many times in Auschwitz, in selections where she would be picked out almost every time, because of her young age. The Kapo, the head of the group, our group, would tell the officer who was doing the selections, Dr. Josef Mengele, that she is a very good worker, please don't take her from us. And so she would be excused. They would yield to her request.
We went through a number of Dr. Mengele's dreaded selections where we would have to remove our clothes on the pretext of a medical checkup. During the time between while we stood in line waiting for Dr. Mengele to decide who should live, and who should die - with his glove on, and a little stick in his hand - many people would just faint. It took a lot of energy to go through such excitement, and later on we no longer had this energy. Of course, if you fainted they just dragged you away. You were too weak. There was always another transport to replace anyone who did that. Right in front of me I saw all these people from our town taken away just like that. They went through, by this time, also a number of these selections, which would always happen spontaneously. We never would know, surprise selections. I can go on, but do you really want me to?
Tattooed & Escape In Auschwitz
Do you want to tell us about the tattoo?
Well, first we were selected, and then we had to give up our clothing from home except for our shoes, which our transport was able to keep, but that was not the general rule.
And then our heads were shaven bald. I had two long braids, and they just snipped off my braids and dumped it on this pile of hair. I was just horrified to see my brown braids on this pile of hair. And when I was staring at this pile, somebody was already going over my head with a pair of sheers that were hand-operated. They were not scissors, like a hair cutter. We have them now in electric form, but they were all hand operated. So, the haircut wasn't even smooth, and in touching my head, I saw some blood on my fingers, and I just cried obviously. As a young girl I thought my hair was a crown. But, I had no idea that maybe I'll be grateful for not having that hair later, as we were infested with lice. They tried to reduce us to be untermenschen, they called us untermenschen, sub-humans. I never saw vermin in that form ever. And of course it was their idea to eliminating us through illness that lice caused.
We were given tattoos then. My mother and sister and I had three consecutive numbers. (Pointing to her tattoo). Mine is A6374, and mother's was first, "72", my sister's followed with "73" and I was "74." And that was unusual only because by this time there were hardly any inmates in whose families three people were still alive. As we experienced this it kept getting worse and worse, and as our energies were robbed and we became weaker and weaker.
How long were you in Auschwitz before you left there and went to the camp?
I was there for approximately seven and a half months-that's a very long time in Auschwitz, where a day is an eternity. But then I also succumbed to the selections at the end of 1944. This time I too was sent to the other side along with thirty other women and girls.
I remember that all I could think of was my mother, that this is going to kill her. Now it hardly makes sense; I was the one who was going to be murdered. But I was afraid that if my mother is going to take this too hard, that she is going to weaken and then Annuska will be left alone. I worried about that.
Because in Auschwitz-Birkenau there is no time to brood. It was a time to gather all your strength so that you could finish the day's work and hope that you are going to see the sun rise tomorrow. The reason for this is because they kept us on a very low calorie diet, purposely, so that we would not have the strength to run away. And of course not having any hair made us conspicuous in case somebody had run away. And where could you run to? Every area was surrounded by these tall electric wire fences. There was no way one could run away.
But one time when my turn came - I remember seeing my mother last - we were all naked and she was first and Annuska was next and I was last, and she looked back, like that (turns her head), and I saw her cry when I was beginning to walk the other way. We both looked at each other, I said, "Mother, don't cry. I'll see you yet. I'll see you yet mother, don't cry." And off she went and disappeared from my life forever. I was very close to her. I was her first daughter after four boys. I always heard how lucky she was to have me.
We were kept in a dark barrack until late at night when a truck came to take us away. And finally a truck came and one SS man let us onto the truck, and then another came to close that canvas in the back - they were like heavy drapes made out of canvas. This was the Hungarian guard who did that and this Hungarian guard was our guard at the Kanada work detail where I worked just behind gas chamber and crematorium number four, about twenty, twenty five feet away from it, and we were separated only by electric wire fences so we could see people going in, long columns of people going in and never come out, only through the chimneys (gestures upward with her hands). And this was the guard who guarded us there. Once in a while he would speak to us in Hungarian just minimally, and I even remember seeing a picture of his grandchild in his wallet; I held it in my hand and so did my mother. And he said he was not in Auschwitz by choice. This was the guard who guarded us.
And after he saw me there he said to me in Hungarian, "Te is?"- meaning "You too?" and I just - I just nodded, acknowledging my fate. And after he saw me there he told all of us on the truck, that "you know that we're going to the gas chamber." But, whoever wants to jump off on the way, you go ahead but if you find - if you are found, you are not to give me away for I may be able to save other lives yet. But if you do give me away, both you and I will be killed. And he just closed the canvas drape and he went up front, and he slowly drove off.
The gas chambers were a good distance away. Well at least when we walked, we couldn't march so fast, so it took us almost an hour to get there in the morning, it seems, and back again at night. The truck would have to cross into another camp section, and then another a gate, before entering the forested area - the area of the gas chambers.
And I thought quickly, "If I stay on this truck, I'll be killed - in an hour and a half I'll be up, coming up the chimney by way of smoke. If I jumped, I might be found and killed, and then taken to the crematorium, but perhaps not, that here was my chance to see my mother again. So when that truck approached that familiar wooded area just on the other side of that fence, it was part of the electric wire fences, that gate. I just jumped off the slow moving truck, and I leaped down the embankment. I remembered that spot every day as we marched to Kanada to work and back at night, but I could never see what's in that deep ditch. And so being that it's deep, it was good enough for me at this point because so far as I know the rest of the land where I had been is all flat.
And so I said, "Who will come with me?" but nobody responded. You see, they lost their entire families. And the belief was that we were all succumb to this eventually. So as long as they didn't have anyone to live for, they just decided to go. Besides they probably thought, 'I don't stand a chance to escape from here'. But I was very young yet and foolish, took many more chances. And, I just said goodbye. And I jumped off that slow moving truck, and I leaped down the embankment, it was dark at night, I was totally naked because only those people who passed the selection received their clothes back. But those of us who didn't were picked up naked and taken to the gas chambers.
And I sort of fumbled around in the, in the ditch and I felt like a hole, as if there was a hole, and there was a culvert which I couldn't see from where we walked and I just climbed into this culvert, and about fifteen minutes later the sirens went on, which to me meant that the guards had been alerted because ordinarily these sirens would mean, I mean normally it would mean that the allies are about to bomb. And they haven't bombed Auschwitz so far as I know up to that point, and so I didn't think it was for that reason. So about fifteen minutes later again, I heard the voices of men speaking in German. I knew that meant that my absence had been discovered-probably when the truck arrived at the gas chamber and there was minus one person that they sounded the alarm.
But, there I was in the culvert, naked, and I...soon the commotion had died down. I stayed in the culvert that night, the following morning until the following night, about twenty-four hours or so without any food or clothing. And you know, although this was in the middle of the winter, I have no recollection of feeling cold, or having any of the sensations except this great feeling of triumph. I felt as if I had defeated the entire German army.
But here I was in the culvert and I thought, 'I have to do something about this situation because I'll either starve to death or I'll freeze to death'. So I decided to leave my hiding place and go back up to the road and see if I can see anything. And in the distance I saw a tiny little light that looked like a little star. And I followed that little star really not knowing if it would lead me into a safe place or straight into SS headquarters, or maybe to a men's barrack!-because frankly I lost my sense of direction but I believe that that God must have been walking alongside me, and he lead me to a barrack.
I entered quietly, and I walked as far as I could and there was this bunk bed. And I quickly climbed up to the third tier and somebody began to scream and I cupped my hand on my mouth indicating her not to give me away. And I explained to her my predicament, and she took off this large man's overcoat that she had on while she slept, and she draped it around me, and I explained to her my predicament, and I stayed there. She told me that they were just transferred there the day before, and that they would be transferred out to another camp the following day.
So the following day I just lined up for Zaehlappell, concentration camp lingo for head count, and we were counted off, as I melded into this group, and ordered into cattle car, taken to the railroad track for ordered into cattle cars and the train took us away from Auschwitz. By the way, she took an overcoat off of a dead body, which was not an unusual way for us to improve our wardrobe which consisted of this single gray dress, cotton gray dress that we had on, and normally our shoes but I lined up without shoes for that Zaehlappell. I landed three days later in Bergen-Belsen.
On the cattle cars when you were being taken to Auschwitz what kind of food did they give you? Was there any food at all?
Thank you for asking that. We had no provisions whatsoever from camp to camp; sometimes there was. Sometimes they gave us something, like a piece of bread to take along, but there were no provisions whatsoever; in fact, since we were transferred using this process everywhere from camp to camp-and I went through seven concentration camps-it took a tremendous toll on the human body, because most of the time we did not have any provisions. We were-we'd be traveling for two, three, four days and days completely without food or drink. Many of us would die en route especially toward the latter part. So I dreaded every time I was transferred out-what am I going to eat? How will I survive without water?
